On the ropes? Don’t give up—take a step back!

Last week my family and I tried out a local ziplining/ropes course adventure.  This was way outside of our comfort zone. None of us really care for heights! We’re not particularly athletic! But we thought it would be fun to have a new experience together. We had a blast, in large part because once one of our group got way too outside of their comfort zone (I'm talking full blown panic attack at 30 feet above the ground), we pulled back, re-assessed, and went back to the courses that we felt ready for. By stepping back when we needed to, we were able to stay outside of our comfort zone longer than we otherwise would have, and it turned out to be a positive experience as well. We all feel ready to try the higher courses when we go back!

So what does this have to do with diversity and inclusion work?

Diversity and inclusion work often involves getting outside of our comfort zones. It’s not just leaving the comfort zone of the people and cultural context that we’re familiar with. It’s also leaving the comfort zone of what we think we know about ourselves. Most of us like to think of ourselves as open, accepting, well-intentioned people. Oftentimes, robust diversity and inclusion work challenges us to look at parts of ourselves we try not to know about—the parts of ourselves where implicit bias lives, where fear and uncertainty about the unknown lurk and spin stories that create an Us and a Them. 

Coming into contact with those parts of ourselves can feel scary because it makes us feel vulnerable, guilty, or ashamed. Too often, because of that, we just opt out. We come up with reasons why we can avoid that deep work, or don’t need to do it. Some people even go really far and devalue diversity and inclusion work altogether.

But there’s a better way. You don’t have to be all in (too much!) or all out (too little!). When I do diversity and inclusion work with folks, I keep us grounded in the process by checking in. What are we feeling emotionally? What are we feeling in our bodies? How can we honor the messages of those emotional and physical sensations? 

 
If we need to slow down, that’s okay! If we need to stay in one place for a minute or circle back to an earlier idea to get our bearings and titrate the vulnerability, that’s just fine. 

Getting out of your comfort zone can happen a little at a time. It can be two steps forward, one step back, the two more steps forward again. Taking your time to step out of your comfort zone in a mindful, intentional way makes the work you’re doing more sustainable. If things get overwhelming, it’s vital to have options to support yourself through the overwhelm, instead of reducing your choices to “do this now or give up.”

What challenges have you found leaving your comfort zone? How do you get through them? Reply to this email to tell me all about it.

Warmly,

Cate

P.S. Later this month, I’ll be making a big announcement about a new offer that is especially for decision makers and leaders in businesses, organizations, and schools. If you can think of someone you know who might be interested, please nudge them to sign up for this newsletter by going here!